Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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