Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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