And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize