WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
