it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
