are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize