I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
