ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
