U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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