Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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