the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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