My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
