all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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