you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
