I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize