i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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