Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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