so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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