yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We don't watch enough power rangers
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
