We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
