distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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