Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
