Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
