eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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