Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think a kid would responsible me up
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
