I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
