If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
