I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I stole a fireplace last night.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We are all done wearing pants today
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize