I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
