oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Randomize
