i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize