okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
