But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
