Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
