no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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