Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
