I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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