thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize