Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize