i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
