He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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