someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
