It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
