So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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