Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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