she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I looked at my own cervix.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize