kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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