Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
