dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize