There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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