he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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