Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
