No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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