You can't motorboat a personality
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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