you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
