The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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