I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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