I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
