he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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