i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
