U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
