Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize