Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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